Nothing you could ever do
Could ever crack my shell
You’re the empty boy from the cottonfields
From the bottom of Barnum’s well
The water-carrier on a midnight crawl
Who always missed the call
Yea, what’s the big idea with you
You always follow what I do.

Nothing you could ever say
Could ever impress me
I’ve heard it all before I guess
Yes it all came from me
So you dyed your hair black one day
That must have been a really big deal
You’re such a little innocent
A dog yapping at my heels.

When they move the debris
I guess you’ll be underneath
Trying on my old clothes
Trying to kiss my feet
And when they ring the mausoleum
They’ll find you on the line
Trying to steal my fingerprints
So you can read my mind.

Nothing that’s just all you are
You’re like my effigy
Like a snake crawling up a bell
You make the leaves fall from the trees
The only sacks you ever owned
Were those I didn’t need
Like a poor relation
You’re one more mouth to feed.

You hoist the chalice to your lips
And the water turns to brine
The rain always seems to fall on you
It never turns to wine
An empty bottle of whisky
Would have more effect than you
They always close the restaurant
When you walk in for food.

Nothing you could ever give
Could be enough for me
Salome could have danced all night
But she wouldn’t have taken your seed
You couldn’t even ring a bell
Except in the cemetery
Yea, what’s the big idea with you
What d’you think’s your claim on me?

Elijah might have cared for you
But he was a better man than me
And Douglas Bader might have prayed for you
But that’s all history
The only things you’ve got to offer
Are all built on the sand
Someday, baby, you might be lucky
Someone might cut off your left hand.

Nothing you could ever do
Could ever crack my bell
You’re the empty boy from the cottonfields
From the bottom of Barnum’s well
The water-carrier on a midnight crawl
Who always missed the call
Yea, one day, baby, they’ll find you dying
At the foot of my garden wall.